log date: 2022-06-10
Jun. 10th, 2022 12:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wastelandimperiatrixIt's taken me almost a week to recover from going to visit my mother's home, the stress of everything piled onto me and was deeply overwhelming to say the least. I'm trying, I really am, to bounce back but it still feels like each day I'm missing something important. I'm not sure what that is though, all I can do is go through the motions of my routine, do the things that bring me joy, and hope this restlessly tired energy finally quiets down.
Within regards to my last post, I still stand by what I said, but now that I've calmed down, I'm just tired and fed up with it. I have contemplated walking away from a path I have been on since I was a young child, because I have lost faith in the community. I can't stand around and watch misinformation be spread. It's deeply troubling and upsetting, and yet I am at a standstill about what to do. If there's even anything I can do in this situation.
Not to mention, my nanny accused me of stealing her snake oil. So. Yeah. That hurt. I think the thing that hurts the most is that I'm still not taken seriously, I'm treated like a joke among my grandmother, and it hurts. What does it take to earn the respect of family members who will never take you seriously, ever? Is it even a worthy endeavor in the first place?
I think I just need to take some time to focus on myself and my own needs, but I'm not sure what that is at the moment, it could be anything. I've started several projects and yet, I haven't been able to finish any of them. I haven't even been able to update my website as often as I'd like to anymore. I feel pretty fried, and clawing my way out of that is taking a lot of work and the energy needed for it is exhausting.
Where do I go from here? Is there anywhere to go? Do I just keep doing what I'm doing and hope that it's the right thing?
Within regards to my last post, I still stand by what I said, but now that I've calmed down, I'm just tired and fed up with it. I have contemplated walking away from a path I have been on since I was a young child, because I have lost faith in the community. I can't stand around and watch misinformation be spread. It's deeply troubling and upsetting, and yet I am at a standstill about what to do. If there's even anything I can do in this situation.
Not to mention, my nanny accused me of stealing her snake oil. So. Yeah. That hurt. I think the thing that hurts the most is that I'm still not taken seriously, I'm treated like a joke among my grandmother, and it hurts. What does it take to earn the respect of family members who will never take you seriously, ever? Is it even a worthy endeavor in the first place?
I think I just need to take some time to focus on myself and my own needs, but I'm not sure what that is at the moment, it could be anything. I've started several projects and yet, I haven't been able to finish any of them. I haven't even been able to update my website as often as I'd like to anymore. I feel pretty fried, and clawing my way out of that is taking a lot of work and the energy needed for it is exhausting.
Where do I go from here? Is there anywhere to go? Do I just keep doing what I'm doing and hope that it's the right thing?
